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How To Communicate Print E-mail

Improve Your Relationships With Effective Communication Skills

 

Conflict in a relationship is virtually inevitable. In itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. Next time you’re dealing with conflict, keep these effective communication tips in mind and you can create a more positive outcome.

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: Just a little extra time.

Here's How:

1.                              Stay Focused: Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.

2.                              Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.

3.                              Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.

4.                              Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.

5.                              Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness, and admit when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.

6.                              Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.

7.                              Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense.

8.                              Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.

9.                              Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.

10.                          Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.

Tips:

1.                              Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties, not ‘winning’ the argument or ‘being right’.

2.                              This doesn’t work in every situation, but sometimes (if you’re having a conflict in a romantic relationship) it helps to hold hands or stay physically connected as you talk. This can remind you that you still care about each other and generally support one another.

3.                              Keep in mind that it’s important to remain respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like their actions.

4.                              Here's a list of common unhealthy ways to handle conflict. Do you do some of these? If so, your poor communication skills could be causing additional stress in your life.

 
DEALING WITH THE MEDIA Print E-mail


THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT RULES

By Bill Patterson

 

The most important communications strategy in a crisis, particularly in the first few hours, is to be open with the public by being available to the news media. Perception is truth and the media creates the perception following a crisis. For those who would even think of implementing a "no comment" philosophy with the media, I offer this fact: The trade journal, PR News, cites a survey that says 65 percent of the public takes "no comment" as an admission of guilt.

Here are the 10 most important rules of crisis communications:

1. Have an in-depth crisis communications plan that includes dealing with the media, the community and your employees.

2. Make sure the crisis team has been professionally trained in doing hard news interviews.

3. Name a spokesperson and two back-ups today. Do not wait for the crisis to occur.

4. Deal with the crisis head-on. Do not hide out.

5. Respond to reporters’ questions immediately. They expect a return call or an on-site interview within 10 minutes of the request.

6. Never lie. The big lie would be stupid but many executives tend to tell the little white lie. When you even think of telling a lie in a crisis situation, say the name "Richard Nixon."

7. Never go off the record. In a crisis there is already much confusion. Do not add to it. Tell a reporter only what you want to see on the front page of the local paper.

8. Have media kits already prepared and in the crisis room ready for distribution.

9. Practice implementing your crisis plan by going through a mock crisis once a year. Do not forget the news media element during the practice.

10. Have the Boy Scout motto nicely printed and place it on your office wall where you must look at it every day: "Be prepared."

The need for every company or organization to have a thorough crisis communications plan is summed up nicely in my favorite saying form an unknown source: "By the time you hear the thunder, it’s too late to build the ark!"

 

 
10 ways to combat bad web PR Print E-mail

For better or worse, many of your current or potential customers obtain their buying information from the Web--and not just from your company Web site, where you can control what they see. While they will visit your site, they will also use search engines, and they will try to get the full picture from established news sources such as PC World, from blogs, and from shopper comments on Amazon, PriceGrabber, and similar sites. If you have a skeleton in your Web closet, they'll likely find it. So how can you protect your company or product reputation? Here are ten ways to combat bad Web PR.

Don't be caught unaware: The first rule is to closely monitor what is being said about you. In this respect, Google is your friend. Say you are Apple, and you want to keep on top of the latest iPhone gossip. Just searching for iPhone would be useless, delivering too many hits. Instead, create a Google Alert to receive the latest news and blog entries about the iPhone, which you can have sent to you daily, weekly, or even on-the-fly. If you prefer, you can also receive new search results via RSS or Atom feeds. Be especially vigilant in the days preceding and following any product introduction or other announcement. Being forewarned is being forearmed, and you'll be able to act quickly in response to bad press.

Nip blog and review errors in the bud: According to Technorati, bloggers obtain almost two-thirds of their company and product information from other bloggers. Combine these incestuous data sources with Digg, Reddit, and Del.icio.us ratings, and you have the potential for near-instantaneous viral transmission of incorrect or damaging information. It's critical to stop misinformation before it spirals out of control.

If this happens to you, promptly contact each and every editor or blogger and politely explain the inaccuracy or mitigating circumstances, then request a prompt correction/clarification. Most are happy to comply with reasonable requests; their reputations depend on accuracy. Avoid posting corrections in blog comments, unless the blogger ignores you and you have no other recourse. Readers may not see your reply, and comments often open you up to further denigration.

Don't hide your identity: As tempting as it may be, never try to correct bad press by hiding your identity and posing as a customer or reader when making comments. This can backfire big-time if you are caught, and the probability that you will be unmasked is high. Bloggers will "out" you, and you will look far worse than you did originally. The same advice goes for correcting wiki entries about your company--look what happened to Raytheon. And definitely don't pay others to write good things about you. Remember that you have legitimate ways to get the right kind of blog attention, which we discuss in the companion to this article, "Ten Ways to Generate Good Web PR."

Refocus the discussion: If the bad reviews or customer comments are justified, the best thing to do is to refocus the discussion on the positive aspects of your product or service. What did the reviewer miss? What do you do better than the competition? Make intelligent and well-thought-out comments and be honest about who you are, and bloggers and readers alike will appreciate that someone from the company is taking the time and care to communicate with them on that level. This type of communication will also pay off in spades the next time you have a piece of news to disseminate--editors and bloggers will be more disposed to give you a fair shake.

Don't be afraid of mea culpas: If customers or reviewers have legitimate beefs, own up to the problems and correct them. Doing so can literally turn bad PR into good PR. If the product is software, tell people you'll correct the problem as soon as possible in an update, and follow through. Even if you have to spend money (for example, Steve Jobs's offer of $100 coupons to early iPhone buyers), you'll likely get it back in goodwill and future sales. This advice goes triple if you're dealing with a safety issue such as a product recall (think of Mattel and lead paint on toys, or Tylenol and pain-reliever poisoning). The sooner and more independently you act, the better you will look and the more you can head off the bad press.

Don't bash the competition: In the weeks leading up to the iPhone launch, Verizon sent several communications bashing the iPhone to journalists and customers. This practice is bad PR. Instead of knocking the iPhone, which merely put the spotlight on it and made us wonder why Verizon was so scared, Verizon should have taken advantage of the ruckus surrounding the Apple device to shine a light on its own smart-phone products.

Monitor the use of your name and reputation: Malicious Web sites and spammers using your name can be just as damaging as bad PR. Online greeting cards are one example. More than 250 million fake cards designed to trick the recipient into visiting nefarious Web sites, and the attendant publicity, have severely decreased use of legitimate greeting-card sites such as Hallmark.com. In response, American Greetings and Hallmark have changed their policies to include the name and e-mail address of the sender in the card, so that recipients will know it is valid. Similar problems can occur if other sites use names that are common misspellings of your own. If you can, buy these domain names and redirect them to your site.

Track employee communications: While most employees have their company's best interests at heart, they are not always good at PR. They may unwittingly or purposely disclose trade secrets or embarrassing details on personal blogs, they may speak to journalists or bloggers when they are not supposed to, and they may be the source of hidden-identity PR gaffes (as mentioned above) if they make comments on a blog or edit a Wikipedia entry. To combat this, make sure your employees know what is acceptable outside communication, and give specific examples of what they should and should not talk about. Designate spokespeople who can handle outside inquiries, and give employees a way to report any bad press they see.

Be prepared with a crisis plan: Jocelyn Brandeis, cofounder of JBLH Communication in New York, offers this advice: "Always have a crisis communications plan in place. Know which executives will speak on behalf of your company and try to imagine the worst-case scenario ahead of time to have prepared answers. When a PR crisis does hit, you won't be furiously looking for spokespeople or information." She also advises using your company's Web site to disseminate crisis information, since phone lines and e-mail boxes may be jammed. For example, when Mattel announced its toy recall, consumers and journalists alike could find the details easily right on the company's home page.

Remember that there's no such thing as bad press: If all else fails, keep this adage in mind. Some bad press is inevitable for any significant company or product, and the attention will at least raise your profile. In fact, the bigger you are, the more of a target you make--just ask Microsoft. Take minor hits as badges of honor that mean people care about you, and vow to do better next time.

Source:  http://www.pcworld.com/businesscenter/article/138021/ten_ways_to_combat_bad_web_pr.html

 
The Top 10 Mistakes Most Often Made in Communicating Print E-mail

We often use "mistakes" (instead of a more 'positive' approach) in these Top 10's to illustrate what is lacking or what gets in the way. This because the absence of something is usually better than using techniques or skills "on top of" stuff that doesn't need to be there.

1. 'Needing' to communicate.

When you "have" to communicate, you probably won't be communicating very well. In other words, if you wait until you "have" to say something, you've missed the real opportunity for great communication. Tip: Communicate before you need to.

2. Trying to prove that you're right.

When you find yourself repeating yourself, pushing to get someone to see it your way, creating evidence to strengthen your side, you're caught up in the ego of the situation. When you're simply accurate, you usually don't need to push it. When you're right, you likely will. So, right

3. Being a Black Hole.

A Black Hole is a space phenomenon that sucks up all energy around it with nary a burp. People who are speaking need to hear an echo -- if you don't say anything or say things that don't help the person speaking that you got them, they'll get frustrated, keep talking, raise their intensity, etc. Tip: Learn the ways to say things that have the person speaking feel that you've heard them. Remember, it doesn't do much good if you DO hear them if THEY don't understand that you heard them. Communication is always two ways.

4. Holding Stuff Back.

Full communication means that you say everything that's occurring to you, albeit appropriately. If you edit the important stuff out, you maintain an inventory, which, like milk, spoils quickly. Tip: Talk to family and community and create agreements for all parties to communicate fully, along with an agreed-upon way to clean up/make up if one is perceived as going too far.

5. Being Stressed, Caffeined, Adrenalined (drugged).

Communication becomes stressed when you're under the influence of externals and substances. Better to reduce/eliminate these rather than trying to strengthen your communication skills to overcome these influences. Tip: Simplify and clean up your life if you want to be a great communicator.

6. Insincerity.

We've been trained to say the right thing, even if it ain't the truth. With all the hype and positioning occurring today, folks are less tolerant of bull and highly reward and value truth, sincerity, directness. There IS a truth in every communication and it's worth finding. Tip: Decide to tell the truth, even if there are consequences.

7. Not being responsible for how you are heard.

It's one thing to speak your mind, which is usually healthy. Yet, assuming this, you can go the extra step and stand in the recipient's shoes and listen to how they are listening, being sensitive to their needs and style. Doing this will quickly improve most of your communications. And, it's not a weakness or patronizing or co-dependency. Instead, it's a gift to both parties. Tip: Ask people around you how they hear you. Learn from this.

8. Broadcasting.

Communication is always two ways; broadcasting is only one way. Not much new stuff can be created when you're broadcasting (telling stories, complaining, ranting, stating opinions ad nauseum, being full of oneself). And one of the joys of communication is what can be created between/among the parties. That's where the magic is. Tip: If you talk a lot, find out why. You're likely to attract an audience, but wouldn't you rather have creative partners, instead?

9. Speaking Too Quickly.

Why speak so quickly that the recipient needs to focus hard to listen and absorb? This is an unnecessary stress, especially when you really want your message to get across, land, find fertile soil, burrow in and create a home for itself. Tip: If you're a fast talker, find out why and fix it.

10. Criticizing, Even Subtle.

Nothing stops a communication flow faster than criticism, in any form. Tip: Stop.

 

Source:  http://www.topten.org/public/BN/BN5.html